What you REALLY need to know about wedding planners
Is there a planning crisis and what is going wrong?
Couples who feel anxious, unsupported, and unsure of how things have spiraled. Vendors who feel undermined. Venues caught in the middle. And behind the dreamy Instagram-worthy photos of Tuscan vineyards and Amalfi terraces? Weddings that were a total emotional drain for everyone involved! It doesn’t need to be this way and definitely not for your wedding!
Our must-watch YouTube episode features wedding planner and La Lista founder, Lucy, as she dives deep into how to make the right choice when selecting your wedding planner.
Photo: Courtney Marie Photography
The Wrong Planner = The Wrong Wedding
Your wedding planner touches everything:
Your vendor team
Your wedding vibe
Your emotional experience
Choose wrong, and the entire journey — from planning to the big day, can become a source of stress, resentment, and even regret.
Instagram is Lying to You
Yes, the weddings look stunning. But what’s behind the image?
A happy couple or a bride in tears moments before walking down the aisle because timelines weren’t met and communication broke down?
Photo: Maria Bryzhko Photography
People Are Staying Quiet
Couples are terrified to speak up — afraid they’ll ruin their wedding or cause conflict. So they stay silent… and the cycle continues. Or the wrong couples speak up - the ones whose expectations outweigh reality or a vendor contract and who never during the planning process spoke up about any dissatisfaction.
What Good Planning Looks Like
Here’s what a quality, professional wedding planning experience should include:
A detailed contract with clear deliverables
A planning timeline to keep your wedding on track
Budget forecasting + active budget management
Transparent communication on fees and commissions
A vendor-agnostic approach (you choose who you want!)
Service-level expectations (like replying within 48 hours or the agreed / contracted response time)
An experienced, happy team on your wedding day
Sounds basic, right? You’d be shocked how often couples get none of this.
Let’s Talk About Commission
If you’re getting married in Italy and don’t understand commission, stop everything. You need to.
What is it?
A commission is a percentage a planner takes from a vendor in exchange for referring them. It’s long been a standard practice in Italy. But the problem isn’t commission itself — it’s how it’s used.
When it’s okay:
It’s transparent. You know up front, and it’s accounted for in the budget. No surprises.
It’s built into the vendor’s price. The cost is the same whether you book through the planner or direct.
When it’s not okay:
It’s hidden. The planner says they don’t take commission, but they do.
It affects your vendor choice. Planners only recommend vendors who pay them, even if it’s not the right fit for your wedding.
It inflates your costs and blocks you from working with the people you love.
Some planners even tell couples vendors are “unavailable” when they’re not — just because they won’t pay commission.
Yes, this is happening. A lot.
Photo: Suzy Anders
Why Couples Need to Step Up
Let’s be real: some couples aren’t doing the work either.
If you’re choosing your planner based on the lowest price, that’s a red flag. A planner charging €2k for full-service planning over 1–2 years? It’s not sustainable. That planner will either:
Take on 30+ weddings per year to survive (meaning your wedding gets minimal attention)
Or
Underdeliver, overpromise, and burn out
‘Cheapest’ almost always equals problems, and often from the couple who believe they are getting a planner who will do everything but in reality cannot do everything because it is not sustainable! Check the contract, ask the questions, think logically!
Before hiring a planner, ask:
Do you work with any vendor I choose?
Do you take commission? If so, how do you handle it?
What’s included in the contract?
What’s your typical response time?
Can I see a full gallery from a past wedding (not just the hero shots)?
Do you have past clients I can speak with?
And always check:
Do you vibe with them?
Do you trust them?
Are they listening to you — or fitting you into a template?
What If Things Go Wrong?
Before you jump in….couples ask yourselves.
Did the planner literally not do what they said they would ie. a deliverable in their contract?
• Not communicating a timeline
• Not booking vendors on time
Did they say they would? Is it in your contract? Did you assume? Did you sign something that wasn’t a thorough contract (contract examples are available for our Club members)
Did they do something late? Did they tell you when it would be done and manage your expectations around this? Was there a timeline in the contract? There should be!
This can be hard to understand ie. ‘Communication is less in the summer’ is in the contract but what does this actually mean? If the summer comes and your wedding is at risk because nothing is planned and now there are further delays – this is not OK. If it is in your contract that they are accountable for keeping your wedding on track then it is their responsibility to manage this lower-level of communication. But it is your responsibility to question it and have the details of what it means super clear before you sign anything.
If you’re in the middle of planning and things feel off — speak up.
Review the contract
Ask for a meeting
Express concerns calmly but clearly
Follow up anything verbal in writing
If necessary, make a formal complaint
Don’t stay quiet just to “keep the peace.” You’re investing a lot of time, money, and emotion — you deserve the truth and a great experience.
How do you know what bad planning is?
Our Youtube episode gets into this and so much more on how to navigate this crucial decision and what to do when things go wrong.
Whether you already have a planner, are still deciding, or chosen to go without, The Club is for you. Expert wedding planner and La Lista founder, Lucy, has orchestrated celebrations across Italy and guided hundreds of couples inside The Club, helping them avoid costly mistakes, control their budget, and bring their vision to life.
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PLANNING | REAL WEDDING | BUSINESS | SUPPLIER SPOTLIGHT | INSPIRATION | WANDERLUST
